Good Enough

After three naps, icing my feet and my knees, foam rolling, eating almost an entire bag of Garden Salsa Sun Chips, an entire bag of Sour Patch Kids, and six donuts, and then dealing with a food hangover the next day….I’m finally feeling back to normal after the race. I actually felt like running today. Instead I did 35 minutes on the elliptical because I’m having some toe problems.

It kinda feels like my toenail is going to come off but the nail isn’t bruised and my toe is swollen. So it’s different from all the other times I’ve lost toenails. Luckily, soccer makes all pain disappear (running, on the other hand, amplifies all pain times 10, hence the elliptical) and I had no problems during practice yesterday, only afterwards.

I’m basically super productive today because I worked out, cleaned the entire apartment, showered, made lunch, and got started on dinner all before noon. I’m making lemon chicken for dinner, which always makes me feel a bit nostalgic because it was essentially the first “real” meal I ever made.

 

Sunday I was reminded of something about myself and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. Nothing is ever “good enough” for myself. People always tell me its a good thing because it means I’m driven and such, and I agree. Still, I think its good to appreciate progress made along the way, which I kind of don’t. I accepted my half marathon performance for less time than it took for me to walk like a normal person again. In no time I was complaining to John about what a horrible runner I am while he tired, when he could get a word in, to convince me that I am not.

It’s not uncommon for me to receive compliments at soccer practice, especially from one of the players who I consider to be probably the best player on the team. Yesterday he was complimenting me quite a bit and my first thought…Is he somehow making fun of me? Haha. Really, I couldn’t just take a compliment. And the worst part is…I KNOW I’ve been playing well lately. But to me, its not good enough.

I remember when I finally broke a 7:00 minute mile. The first thing I said was, “Now I’ve gotta get 6:30.” All of a sudden, a 7:00 minute mile seemed miniscule.

I’m really going to try to be happier with my accomplishments. It’s good to keep having bigger goals but not when you can’t recognize and be proud of smaller accomplishments along the way. No, my half marathon time of 2:23 isn’t even close to my ultimate goal of sub-2 hours. But its pretty good for my first time, especially given the weather conditions. My next half probably won’t be under 2 hours either but it’ll be better. And there’s a lot to be said for improving.