Today I was ready to run. I was ready to improve on my time from Tuesday. And I didn’t. I headed out with grand thoughts of an awesome time and before I even got down the street I had to stop. My shoe was cutting into the back of my heel and it was bleeding on my shoe. This stared happening on Tuesday and I’m not sure why…I haven’t had any issues with these shoes before. I stopped to pull my socks up and kept going. Just as I leave my neighborhood I head up this steep hill. My knee started hurting but I kept going. By the time I had reached half a mile my knee was still hurting and the negative thoughts started creeping into my head. I started noticing how much my heels were hurting, how the front of my one of my toes was hurting after the skin came off during yesterday’s soccer game, and most of all I was noticing how my knee was hurting.
My knee hurts every time I run. It’s usually not an issue anymore and I haven’t used a knee brace (for running) in months. Today it seemed more prevalent. I started thinking about the ten miles I plan to attempt on Saturday and got nervous. I thought if it hurts this bad right now and I keep pushing, what if I can’t manage ten on Saturday? So, after a little over a mile, I stopped.
Before all these knee issues happened, I felt like I could push myself forever. I could run as fast as my legs would take me, no matter how much it hurt, without worrying whether or not I was doing damage to myself. When I was finally cleared to “jog” after my surgery, I went out like I’d never been gone. Needless to say, after not running for a year and having knee surgery, things just weren’t working like they used to. I had so many starts and restarts. I wised up and decided to follow the Couch to 5K plan to gradually ease myself back into running. It worked like a charm and a couple of months after finishing the program; I was running farther than I ever had before.
But I still feel ruined. I definitely have a different form than I used to have. I can’t push like I could before. Or maybe I can but I just don’t know it. Really, I have no idea what my limits are anymore. Before, any pain was temporary and never disabling. Now, sometimes my knee hurts so bad that I’m out for days. I thought I had beaten it running. I thought soccer was the only thing that really did a number on it anymore. But maybe I’m wrong. Sometimes I have to remind myself that less than a year ago I couldn’t even stand the elliptical all the time. I didn’t think I’d ever be playing soccer again.
I know I’ve come a long way but it doesn’t change the fact that I miss running with the ease I used to feel. I really took for granted that seven minute miles were the norm. Now I fight to stay sub-11. It’s extremely discouraging.
I decided to salvage my work out by spending 45 minutes on the stationary bike doing hills. I think it’s the first time I’ve been on the bike this year. I took my ipod. I don’t listen to my ipod while running so I didn’t have any new workout playlists ready and I had to just go with shuffle. Clearly my ipod must know me very well because every song was perfect. I felt much better after being on the bike (although I’m still a little bummed about my run). I spent some much needed time stretching (I didn’t stretch AT ALL after yesterday’s soccer game for some reason) and on my foam roller with a lot of IT band focus. Hopefully this will help my knee for this weekend.
PS-While in the gym a guy came in with his laptop! I’ve seen a lot of things at the gym-people bringing their kids to just run around and play while they work out, people hiking up the speed on their treadmill but then just holding themselves up with the handlebars and not really running, people wearing normal street clothes while working out-but this takes the cake. I thought about it later and maybe he had his workout on there but…couldn’t he write it down or print it out?
PPS-Please don't zoom in on my hairy legs in the above picture.
1 comments:
You are fantastic and an inspiration!!
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